I went to a brew house (Brauerei Greifenklau i.e. “Griffon Claw Brewery”, founded in 1719) last night and talked to some guys at my table who spoke some English. In conversation I asked them how to address the barmaid. This approximate conversation followed (P&M = Peter & Manuel, D=Doug):
D: How do I address the barmaid?
P&M: Frau
D: What if she is a young woman?
P&M: Then mädchen
D (considering that mädchen is a girl, usually a little girl): No, I mean one who is, say, 18 or 19
P&M: Frau
D: I thought Frau was for an older woman, isn’t there another word for a young woman?
P&M: No, there is nothing in between, either a mädchen or a Frau.
D (cutting to the chase): Well what is a Fräulein?
P&M: Ha ha! we don’t use that word, that meant an unmarried woman, a virgin, long ago, but it hasn’t been used in a very long time.
D (astonished): Really? Not at all?
P&M: Oh, you can say it to a nun.
D: A young nun?
P&M: Nooo, it doesn’t matter, any age, she can be 87, still she is Fräulein.
In a second bar we went to together (A tapas bar – Spanish style there are many of these around), I asked the barmaid, who spoke English quite well:
“No, that word hasn’t been used since before “the Second War” except maybe by Americans and people who are trying be funny” (I bet this means to make fun of Americans).
She went on to say that it was somewhat insulting because it means “little woman” (as in womanette, not small size). She said she didn’t think it had been used since “the First War” and that people thought it was used in the 40s only because Americans used the word so much then.